Waiting
by Dragon'sSocks
Summary: After 5x12. One night in life of Selina and Bruce upon his return.


**Author's note: I haven't written anything for Batcat for so long. Missed them :) Song: Fleurie - Hurts like hell.  
**

"I don't like this waiting."

Windy, cold is getting into my hair, into my apathy. This November is almost January. A dark figure stands next to me. Like old times. A restaurant is ahead of us, ugly trees are covering our presence, our preparations.

"Neither am I."

The restaurant is glowing, a girl in the white dress is laughing. She is happy. Honestly, happy.

Keeping my composure is almost impossible. This cat is ready to shiver.

The girl swirls around letting her husband and champagne take care of her.

My hands are crossed tightly in front of my body. Getting sick is no longer an option, it is what is coming.

The dark figure doesn't even turn in my direction.

"I don't think Falcone is coming here. Waste of time," a deep voice doesn't show irritation. "I will drop you in the city."

My collar is so high that it touches my nose, bringing no warmth.

The car is as cold as this unfriendly November. Diving into the seat is effortless but brings no comfort.

"Buckle up."

His voice is so foreign. Why this mask makes him so alien? As if we haven't known each other for ages, as if we haven't shared roof for almost a year, as if we weren't close on one or more occasions? But here I am and he 20 centimeters away as distant as if the ocean is between us.

Heat is turned on, it is getting under my coat, under my sweater, under my skin, under my thoughts.

Relaxing comes slowly, my toes, my knees. My body sank into the leather seat as if in the cacoon.

My awareness is on the edge, city lights and dulled sounds keep me conscious for some time. When it seems your voice tries to wake me, it is all turning into humming.

Click, click, click... softness of the cloth under my fingers.

Click, click... the sound disturbs me.

Click... my eyes flew open.

The place is familiar. So many nights were spent here. The clock over my bed is what drives me nuts. It got broken because of some girl's temper long time ago, but it seems it needs some breaking again.

When this is done, my legs hurry me up to leave the room. Only my coat and boots were taken off and it is easy to grab them and leave. My footsteps are almost noiseless.

So much time has passed...

Moving through the nostalgic corridors makes me weary, stranded. This is not what was supposed to happen. Didn't a heartbroken girl promised never to set foot to this place again? Never to let this boy take care of her?

He is not a boy anymore, which is more disturbing.

Stray cats should not get domesticated, should not get food and roof from dark princes obsessed with justice search.

It is only business. Right, Selina? Only get what Falcone owes you and let him get jailed?

The railings are smooth, this wood knew a lot of caring hands. My fingers barely touch it when my feet take me down the stairs.

"I can call you a taxi."

Stop.

Turning around my face gets the condescending expression, but my heart is not ready to face a man without a mask.

It is sooo not ready...

Here he is, big and strong, his muscles body turning him into a war machine with long hands and dark hair that my fingers remember so well.

As much as my poor soul wishes not to recognize him, it does. Not his eyes, not a look into his eyes.

"I can take care of it. Thanks."

"Will you allow me to walk you to the door at least?"

Nod saves me from making my dried mouth pronounce anything. The boots are put on my feet with as much dignity as possible in this situation.

Walking is easy, feeling his presence on the right of me is definitely not.

"Selina, I need to talk to you about one thing."

"Hmm?" No look at his side. Two more staircases to go.

"We have a history together and I always trusted you."

An uncomfortable pause that my tongue uses for scratching the last of the relationship we had.

"Did it change?" My comment is as sharp as a knife blade.

"I hope not, but I need to say this because it is not only my life at stake."

My walking quickens as if my skin gets burnt by an invisible fire. His smell brings memories, talking away oxygen from my lungs.

"Selina, please, wait. I just need two minutes…"

There is a door ahead of me and nothing else matters. My hand is stretched to take the handle.

Thud!

A figure in the dark sweater jumps between me and the door. A large hand pressed to the expensive wood preventing me from leaving.

"Look at me."

Barely a whisper.

"Look at me."

Louder. The doorknob is still in my hand, my chest moves up and down and aches the same way.

"Look at me, please".

His voice disarms me.

There is nothing else to do except to … look at him.

So our eyes meet. Static runs down my body when I inhale the closeness of us.

"I am looking," this phrase is as cold as it could be.

"Could I hear that you can keep my secret, please?"

"Do you want to have blood oath or something?" poisonous words bring familiar expression to his face.

"No, just your words will be enough."

"Why do you think I won't sell you out after I leave this house?"

"I trust you."

"If you trust me, then why do you need to hear it, Bruce?"

My chin is raised in challenge and step in his direction is just a provocation.

Shake of his head and his hand leaves the door.

"You are right. I should not need it. Bruce from 10 years ago would never have asked for it, but... I am not him anymore."

"So you think I am not Selina from 10 years ago anymore?"

"Are you?"

The question is so simple, so lightweight.

_Am I indeed?_

A boy smiles at me and hands me my fixed jacket, a boy pulls me to himself on his friend's wedding, a boy leaves me a note…

Pins to my heart, stabs to my soul.

Tears, so many tears, in the night air of Gotham for 10 long years.

"I am not," confession is simple," will you hurt me now, lock in your dungeon? You are very good at hurting people whom you called important."

No-one can say that there is no way for me to push his buttons, to hurt him as he hurt me. Because there may be not much left of that boy in this man's body, but this something is enough to make him sigh and look down.

"I will never earn your forgiveness for it, won't I?"

"Do you need it, Bruce? Honestly, 10 years have passed, you are a different person, I am a different person. We will meet from time to time in the city and we don't even need to say "hi". So you want your secret safe, okay, sure. I may need a car in exchange, but you can sleep like a baby. We can pretend that we don't know each other."

"I don't want to pretend that I don't know you. I never wanted that. I still … care about you," one step closer to me.

Now... it is painful. My heart sinks.

How pathetic Selina? A handsome rich stranger cares about you and you get all fluffy and cozy.

The grey sweater radiates warmness, the scent of sandalwood lingers over me, muscles of his arms relaxed.

_Selina, it is so pathetic. Don't even think about it. He is just a stranger, a shadow of a Bruce who left you years ago. He is just … Bruce. _

Warm fingers carefully touch mine, a sigh escapes my lips and long-forgotten longing resurfaces, calls for me.

"If you care… why it still hurts like hell, Bruce?"

I leave the house without interruptions and I crush his car into the tree not far away from the city. I can't shake the feeling of his fingers all night.


End file.
